Friday, May 16, 2014

Questions...answers come through the ebb and flow of life

A week or so ago someone asked me for 10 things I could have known sooner rather than later in my relationship with Jarad, 10 questions I should have asked sooner or 10 must knows.  They didn't have to be deep revelations but the email made me think.  I have been with Jarad for almost 7 years now. This is the obviously the longest relationship I've been in but I really didn't have long relationships before this so it's no surprise.  To me a relationship is a breathing, growing, evolving entity.  It's growth and understanding is built by the past experiences of the two in the relationship, the events that happen around the two in the relationship, how they react and understand those events, etc. There are constant pressures on each party and how it's brought to and understood in the relationship should teach each other a lot about the other person.  Cliche as it may be I learn more and more about Jarad day in day out.  A question is brought up because we see something on television.  What do you think about that?  Another question is brought up because someone we know is getting a divorce because of infidelity. We wonder about our path as friends deal with a miscarriage or infertility. We watch a movie (Last Vegas...such a cute movie) which makes me think about where he sees us in 5 or 10 or 20 years. We dream or make travel plans....where we want to go and see as a couple.  Crazy as it may seem everyday triggers ways to learn about each other.  We didn't have a handbook or things we wanted or needed to know about the other person before we could get past the first date, the first year, marriage, etc.  If we did Jarad would most certainly have thrown it in the trash.  I was giving a book to read before we got married.  I asked Jarad to read it and his response was that we didn't need someone to tell us how to be together.  So now I'll read articles, books, etc occasionally and pick parts from it that I want to discuss with him but the trick is he can't know where the conversation started from or for it to seem like a counseling session.   Most don't understand our relationship looking in and that's fine because it works for us.  ooohhhh I could ask him about how he perceives our relationship.  So I still don't know what 10 things I could give for this but I do appreciate those times when I get to learn something new about Jarad or experience something new with him.  Life could easily get a little mundane and for us it's all about just going with the ebb and flow of life, the good and the bad.

When I wanted to use the phrase "ebb and flow" in the title I wanted to make sure I was using it right.  I googled "ebb and flow of life" and the second link that came up was an interesting article about relationships. It fit with what I was trying to write here and I found it after I had already written out the post.  I title things at the that what your suppose to do?

1 comment:

  1. Great insight...can't believe it's been 7 years! Thanks for sharing.